Real Pop Talk

Open letters from a girly pop culture junkie

Archive for the tag “rage”

An open letter to Adele – re: Overexposure

Dear Adele,

Look, I know you’ve got a voice and think you’re hot shit and everything, but please. Can you just shut up for, like, 5 minutes? I would just like to live one day of my life without you in it.

And I swear to god, if I hear that f***ing song one more time (aka if I get that f***ing song stuck in my head one more time) I’ll definitely be setting fire to something, trust me.

It might be your face.

With all due respect,

Linda

An open letter to an inanimate object – #1

Dear Automatic Flush Toilet in the first stall of the bathroom in my workplace,

If you flush before I’m ready one more time, I swear to god I will bring a hammer to work and smash you into so many pieces, they’ll have to carry what’s left of you out in a dustpan.

Sincerely,

Linda

Thank God for DVR

To be honest, I don’t have a whole lot of time to watch TV while I’m at school (except for Glee and the Vampire Diaries, naturally) but I went home this past weekend and I saw two commercials that seriously bothered me for different reasons.

Commercial #1: Luvs Diapers

OH DEAR GOD WHY? “Poop, there it is???”

Look, I understand kids poop in their diapers. And as a medical school hopeful, I know I can’t let a little fecal matter bother me. But this commercial is seriously pushing the limits of what the American audience can take, and as far as I’m concerned, the fact that the babies are animated only makes it worse.

Commercial #2: Yoplait Light Yogurt

Things like this have bothered me since I read an article in Cosmo telling me to try eating pretzels when I get a cupcake craving. Excuse me? I hope you realize that just means I’ll eat pretzels AND a couple cupcakes.

The same principle applies here. I don’t drink coffee to treat myself, Yoplait. I drink coffee so I don’t pass out and start drooling in 9am lecture. I drink coffee so I can keep my eyes open for another hour to crank out the last page of my paper. Is your yogurt going to help me do that? Because if not, you can “swap” your cute little 100-calorie dairy snack right back.

This must be why DVR was invented, so that no one would ever be subject to these disturbing and/or senseless commercials ever again.

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