Listen. It’s time to get real. You’re my best friend, right? And because you’re my best friend, I only want the best for you.
And the best thing for you, right now, at this moment, is named Zac Efron.
Look at the two of you on Ellen:
Girl, I was so excited for you I broke out in hives. Seriously though. Your love with him is so real, it gave me a rash.
He’s talented and beautiful, you’re talented and beautiful, what more could you want? The chemistry between the two of you is undeniable. I really think he could be the one you’d never have to write a break-up song for.
Maybe this is looking too far ahead, but I just have this feeling that your power couple-ness could unite all of us. End wars. Stop hatred. Your love could be our drug, the new opium of the people. Just think about how important that is. Think about the children, Taylor!
Or at the very least, think about recording a duet album with him. I’d buy that shit.
Call me and we’ll talk more,
PS – And if you really don’t wanna date him, go ahead and give him my number. HAY ZEFRON HAY!