Real Pop Talk

Open letters from a girly pop culture junkie

Archive for the tag “music video”

An open letter to Nicki Minaj – re: Stupid Hoe video

Dear Nicki Minaj,

We’re in a fight.

I’ve defended you before (Alter Egotistical, 9/23/11) because I honestly do think you’re great. I’m glad there’s a strong female figure in the rap game once again; I’m really not a hater. Which is why we’re in a fight.

Nicki — “You a stupid hoe, you a you a stupid hoe” does not a chorus make.

Nicki — Yes, your alter egos are cool but you gotta stop being in our face about it. “My name is Roman, last name Zolanski, but no relation to Roman Polanski” isn’t even a good line. Also, ending the entire song with an abrupt “I am the female Weezy”? I don’t get it.

Nicki — The crazy big eye thing has been done, by Gaga in Bad Romance, and I hate being the one to do this, but Gaga honestly did it better. Hers were a symbol of her innocence before getting involved in a “bad romance.” Yours are…weird. And, if you’re using them to call Lady Gaga a stupid hoe, you’d best stop. I love you, but I worship Gaga. (However, if you’re making fun of Shakira with the leopard in the cage and/or Katy Perry with the candy, I won’t stop you.)

Nicki — If you want the rumors about your fake-ass fake ass to stop, then you have to stop flaunting it in ways that make it look more fake-ass than ever.

I’d go on, but the 84,799 dislikes on your video probably speak for themselves.

Don’t talk to me until you’ve figured yourself out, please.

Your once friend, now frenemy,

Linda

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An open letter to Lady Gaga – re: “Marry the Night” Video

To my dearest Mother Monster,

You’ve done it again. I’m still thinking about the Marry the Night video – 4 days after its release.

Of course, I love every video you’ve put out, but for different reasons. I love “Judas” because it’s blasphemous yet makes perfect sense. I love “Yoü and I” because you show off your alter egos (especially Jo Calderone. I really like Jo Calderone.) I love “Alejandro” because it’s so fucking weird, you still haven’t explained it, and I don’t think you plan on doing so.

I love “Marry the Night” because I find the opening monologue legitimately interesting.

“When I look back on my life, it’s not that I don’t want to see things exactly as they happened, it’s just that I prefer to remember them in an artistic way. And, truthfully, the lie of it all is much more honest because I invented it. Clinical psychology tells us arguably that trauma is the ultimate killer. Memories are not recycled like atoms and particles in quantum physics — they can be lost forever. It’s sort of like my past is an unfinished painting, and as the artist of that painting, I must fill in all the ugly holes and make it beautiful again. It’s not that I’ve been dishonest; it’s just that I loathe reality.”

Coming back from a semester abroad in Spain, where the reconstruction of historic memory was thoroughly discussed in all of my classes, I find this absolutely fascinating. If memories can be lost forever, and we allow them to be lost forever, what is there to stop us from rebuilding them? Specifically, what is there to stop us from rebuilding them as creatively as want to? By that point, we might as well take ownership of those memories and reconstruct them in a way that we find pleasing, whether emotionally or aesthetically. And once we do, the natural instinct is to demonstrate what we have built, to show off our art to others in the hopes that it will touch them – essentially being honest in our dishonesty.

It’s not that I’ve been dishonest; it’s just that I think Lady Gaga is a genius.

I hope I understood the message, Gaga! Can we hang out sometime?

Reverently,

Linda

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