Don’t let the haters get you down. Keep on doing what you do best – creating the most perfect and delicious mixtures of butter, sugar, and lard.
Got a little type II diabetes? Nothing some deep-fried stuffing on a stick can’t fix!
Then again, as a fellow butter-lover with 32 sweet teeth (but I got my wisdom teeth out…so 28?), I’ll probably develop type II diabetes within a few years as well and keel over of a heart attack at age 30, so what do I know?
In complete and utter seriousness,