Real Pop Talk

Open letters from a girly pop culture junkie

Archive for the tag “baby”

An open letter to Jessica Simpson – re: Baby!

Dear Jess,

Maxwell is a boy’s name. That’s all.

Sincerely,

Linda.

PS – Who is Eric Johnson?

PPS – Sorry for being so snarky, girl. Love your shoes!

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An open letter to Jay and Beyonce – re: Blue Ivy Carter…really?

Ohhay Jay and Bey,

Congratulations on your power infant mogul baby bundle of joy. Honestly, I’m happy for you.

But as it’s my job to think critically about pop culture, I must ask. Blue Ivy? I guess it’s pretty, but I need some reassurance.

Tell me, please tell me, that her name isn’t Blue as a reference to Jay-Z’s “Blueprint” album series. And please tell me that her middle name isn’t Ivy like “IV” like “4” like Beyonce’s album “4” like your matching “IV” tattoos.

You may have successfully exploited your pregnancy for publicity, Beyonce, but please tell me you wanted your child’s name to have more significance than a reminder of your own personal achievements.

This might be worse than Coco. You know. COurteney COx’s baby.

I’ll be anticipating your timely reply,

Linda

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