I have heard whispers in the past about your SAT scores…namely, that they were close to perfect. You also admitted to NPR that you were “very studious” in high school, that you enjoyed physics and math, and that you would drive to Belmont College in Nashville after school to sit in on history lectures simply because you were interested.
Aaand now you’re interested in brushing your teeth with Jack Daniels and getting boys to “show you where their dick’s at?”
I’m officially calling you out, right here, right now. You can’t possibly be as intelligent as you say and make the kind of music you do. It’s gotta be one or the other. I know that your mom was a singer-songwriter, I know that you were always into music [see video below] but I just can’t help feeling like this whole glittery hot mess thing was one big social experiment and that the joke’s most definitely on us.
Look, you’ve proved your point. Today’s consumers will gladly buy anything that mentions alcohol and dancing, no matter how obvious it is that no thought was put into it, no matter how overproduced and autotuned it might be, no matter how meaningless the lyrics really are, ha ha ha, aren’t we all so stupid?
You’ve gotten your number one album off of our ridiculousness. I’m asking you now to either call it quits and cash out with your millions, or start making the kind of music you actually want to make. Either way, please stop making fun of us.